The damage that needs assessed is the damage caused by the things they've done and the hurt they've in- duced. Accountability and ownership of one's actions means being honest with one's self. Can they own the damage left in the wake of their mis- takes... I mean choices?
When circumstances put the planned future beyond reach, you should want your “ride or die” to live a happy and full life. If you love her, let her go; wish her well and happy travels.